Mathematics, applications of mathematics to life in general, and my life as a mathematician.
Results for joke
* * * A button of unknown functionality should be pressed an even number of times. * * * When I tell you that I am closer to 30 than to 20, I mean to tell you that I am 42. * * * If a car with a student-driver sign gets its windshield wipers […]
* * * A mathematical tragedy: two parallel lines fall in love. * * * Life is not fair, even among gadgets: the desktop misbehaves, the monitor gets smacked. * * * An amazing magic trick! Think of a number, add 5 to it, then subtract 5. The result is the number you thought of! […]
Whenever I am under stress, I turn to jokes. My recent problems with spam attacks on my blog led me to surf the web for new math jokes. Here are some of my recent translations from Russian. * * * Two is the same thing as eight, to some degree. * * * A girl […]
* * * —Describe yourself in three words. —Lazy. * * * Internet forum: —Tell me about yourself. —I am lazy and I like to eat. —Tell me some more. —I am tired of typing. I’ll go grab a snack. * * * —Why do you want to divorce your wife? —She nags too much. […]
* * * —Honey, have you blocked our computer? —Yes. —What’s the password? —Our wedding date. —%?#!! * * * —What’s the pin on our card? —We’re on a public chat, honey. Why don’t I sms it? —But I forgot my phone. Please tell me, cupcake! —Okay. By digit: the second digit of our apartment […]
This is one of my favorite jokes: Three logicians walk into a bar. The waitress asks, “Do you all want beer?” The first logician answers, “I do not know.” The second logician answers, “I do not know.” The third logician answers, “Yes.” This joke reminds me of hat puzzles. In the joke each logician knows […]
* * * A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.” * * * To understand what a recursion is, you must first understand recursion. * * * A guy is complaining to his mathematician friend: — I have a problem. I have difficulty waking up in the […]
I collect geeky jokes. I think I’ve heard most of them. So I was surprised to stumble upon a website with many new ones: 50 People On ‘The Most Intellectual Joke I Know’. These are some of them: * * * Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? A: Benoit B. […]
* * * Grigori Perelman’s theorem: There is no offer you can’t refuse. * * * A conversation between two Russians: — Run to the store and fetch a couple bottles of vodka. — How much is a couple? — Seven. * * * — Is it true that the Windows operating system was copied […]
* * * Right clicking a file with a mouse will allow you to change it, check it for viruses, or revert to the previous version. I wonder where I can buy a mouse that can do the same thing with my husband. * * * — Let’s have sex. — Sure, but today I […]
