Mathematics, applications of mathematics to life in general, and my life as a mathematician.
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I gave a short talk about my favorite math jokes at G4G15. G4G stands for the Gathering for Gardner, my favorite conference. Here is a joke about Heisenberg from my talk. * * * Heisenberg gets pulled over on the highway.Cop: “Do you know how fast you were going, sir?”Heisenberg: “No, but I know exactly […]
The homework I give to my students (who are in 6th through 9th grades) often starts with a math joke related to the topic. Once, I decided to let them be the comedians. One of the homework questions was to invent a math joke. Here are some of their creations. Two of my students decided […]
I collect math jokes and, of course, show them to my family. From time to time, my family contributes. The first joke is by my son, Alexey. * * * When you board a train traveling East from Chicago to Boston at 60 miles an hour, you realize you are a part of the problem. […]
* * * —What is the best way to pass a geometry test?—Know all the angles. * * * —Did you hear about the over-educated circle?—It has 360 degrees! * * * —What do parallel lines and vegetarians have in common?—They never meat. * * * —Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of […]
* * * —What’s the best way to get a math tutor?—An add! * * * —Why was the equal sign so humble?—Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else. * * * —Where do mathematicians go on vacation?—Times Square. * * * —Why do cheapskates make good math teachers?—Because they […]
* * * —What do you get when a bunch of sheep hang out in a circle?—Shepherd’s pi. * * * —What do you call a metric cookie?—A gram cracker. * * * —What state has the most math teachers?—Math-achusetts. * * * —What does a hungry math teacher like to eat?—A square meal. * […]
Recently, I decided to stop avoiding puns and childish math jokes. So I am posting a lot of famous jokes I have heard before but never added to my collection. * * * —What are ten things you can always count on?—Your fingers. * * * —Why should you never mention the number 288?—Because it’s […]
* * * A math problem is the only place where a person buys 7744 watermelons for dinner, but no one knows why! * * * Today I saw a tweet from someone I knew in middle school. He tweeted, “I turned my life around 360 degrees!” Now do you see why it is important […]
Here is a famous old joke about Russian propaganda. I heard it when Leonid Brezhnev was General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union and Ronald Reagan was the president of the US. Joke. A Russian newspaper wrote an article about a two-person race between the Russian and the US leaders. They wrote, […]
* * * I hate getting into debates about Möbius strips. They’re always one-sided. * * * North Korea’s ballistic missile test failed due to a bug in Windows. The next missile containing a bug report has been automatically sent to Microsoft. * * * 4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions. * […]
