## Mostly Probability Jokes

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I surveyed many people who had played Russian roulette. Seems like the probability of dying is actually 0%.

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What has the probability of one in five million?
Zero: there’s no 1 in 5000000. Only a five and six zeros.

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Two classmates:
—What did you think of our probability exam yesterday?
—All means to an end.

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My classmate didn’t study for our test in probability.
“I’ll take my chances”, he said.

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I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think he must be plotting something.

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Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.

* * * (submitted by Sergei Bernstein)

A programmer walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “I’ll have three beers please.”

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What is the similarity between me and an experiment involving a biased coin with two tails?
The probability of getting a head is zero.

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### One Comment

1. #### Lilac:

Thanks as always for sharing Tanya. Your sense of humour and mine genuinely align to a quite high degree and I knew there must be something funny in each of them. But it took me a while to realize that “All means to an end” might refer to some notions as old as Aristotle or Bhagavad Gita like the student wants a job in finance and this exam was instrumental towards that goal. Or this is a literal description of the exam: it was mathematical means like QM-AM-GM-HM from beginning to end!