More Nerdy Humor

* * *

— I’ve noticed that fools are always sure of themselves, while clever people are doubtful.
— No doubt.

* * *

— What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?
— She’s no longer my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me.
— I don’t believe that she cheated on you!
— Well, a couple of nights ago I called her, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns.

* * *

A programmer calls the library:
— Can I talk to Kate please?
— She’s in the archive.
— Can you unzip her?

* * *

To protect the population from airplane disasters, Congress has ratified an addendum to the law of gravity.

* * * (invented by David Bernstein)

Energy conservation: it’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.

* * *

— Your computer is such a mess.
— It got a nasty virus.
— And it poured coffee on your keyboard?

* * *

After little Tom learned to count, his father had to start dividing dumplings evenly.

* * *

In spite of the crisis, inflation, and erratic fluctuations of the market, Russian mathematicians promised the president to keep number Pi between 3 and 4 until at least the end of the year.

* * *

A logician rides an elevator. The door opens and someone asks:
— Are you going up or down?
— Yes.

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4 Comments

  1. Leo:

    The logician should be fired for incompetency!
    When the elevator doors are open, the elevator is stationary, therefore the right answer is “No”.

  2. Count Iblis:

    A variant on energy conservation:

    “Why do we need to conserve energy, given that it is conserved?”

    Warnings to computer users:

    http://physics.open.ac.uk/~dbroadhu/warn.htm

    The father of all nerds was, of course, Paul Dirac:

    http://www.math.rutgers.edu/~greenfie/mill_courses/math421/int.html

    Also funny:

    http://insti.physics.sunysb.edu/~siegel/parodies/stuperspace.html

  3. 2nd grade math:

    What an amazing blog, mix of math, economy and current events poem is the beautiful piece of art. Really appreciate the work of the author. Made me a fan of this blog.

    Regards

  4. David Brooks:

    A mathematician finds a very rare math book in an old book shop (an original copy of Euclid’s “Elements”, autographed by the author), and it only cost him $1.00. To celebrate he meets his friends at a local bar. About an hour into the celebration he realizes he left the book in the back seat of his car, in plain sight. He rushes out to his car to get the book, but it was too late. He sees the back window of his car has been smashed. He looks into his back seat only to discover that someone has broken into his car … and left two more math books.

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