Recent Geeky Jokes

* * * A Generic Limerick (submitted by Michael Chepovetsky)

There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
The X did thing A,
In a specified way,
Resulting in circumstance C.

* * *

I just learned that 4,416,237 people got married in the US in 2010. Not to nitpick, but shouldn’t it be an even number?

* * *

We are happy to announce that 100% of Russian citizens are computer-savvy and use the Internet on a regular basis (according to a recent Internet survey).

* * *

Two math teachers had a fight. It seems they couldn’t divide something.

* * *

Do you know that if you start counting seconds, once you reach 31,556,926 you discover that you have wasted a whole year?

* * *

What I need after a visit to the hairdresser is a “Save” button.

* * *

— Hello! Is this a fax machine?
— Yes.

* * *

— I am not fat at all! My girlfriend tells me that I have a perfect figure.
— Your girlfriend is a mathematician. For her a perfect figure is a sphere.

* * *

A: Hi, how are you?
B: +
A: Will you come to classes today?
B: -
A: You will be kicked out!
B: =
A: Are you using your calculator to chat?

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11 Comments

  1. Asher:

    I like the marriage joke. Is this based on an actual statistic?

  2. Alexander:

    Not to nitpick, but if someone got married, divorced and married again to another person, would you count them twice? :)

  3. Tanya Khovanova:

    Asher, I think that the marriage joke is made up.

  4. Vika:

    Well, it is possible theoretically.
    If a person marries, divorces, than marries again during the same year, those two marriages will account for three people.

  5. L33tminion:

    @Vika; The real geeky joke will be the sheer quantity of people that click on this post intending to leave exactly that comment.

  6. Andrew:

    I think the last joke works a bit better in German — did it perhaps come from a non-English source? :)

  7. Alan E.:

    @l33tminion I feel really good that I was not alone in the endeavor to prove that joke wrong. Imagine how many of the same people commenting here would have corrected the joke teller in real life. I know I would.

  8. Roman:

    I would say that counting up to 31,556,926 will take 3 or 4 years. It depends how fast one can pronounce long numbers :)

  9. Seventh Linkfest:

    […] Tanya Khovanova: A nerd’s way to walk up the stairs, Recent Geeky Jokes […]

  10. Leo:

    @Roman: There is no need to pronounce long numbers during counting. All positions except the one changed by the increment are can be implied, e.g. “eigthy, one, two, …, nine, ninety, one, …, nine, one hundred, one, …”

  11. Gecko:

    Lol, great jokes. I like the internet survey one best. :D

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