November Jokes

The jokes are a rough translation from a Russian collection, except the last one I invented myself.

* * *

— Moishe, do you know how many cuckolds are there in Odessa not counting you?
— What? What do you mean by saying “not counting you”?
— Sorry. Okay then, how many counting you?
* * *

At a very prestigious Russian nursery school a teacher talks to a four-year-old applicant.
“Mike, can you count for me?”
Mike counts very fast and with a lot of enthusiasm, “Fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven…”
“Super,” says the teacher, “But how did you learn to count backwards?”
Mike replies proudly, “I can heat my own lunch — in the microwave.”

* * *

The curl of the curl equals the gradient of the divergence minus the Laplacian. Why do I remember this shit that I never need, but can’t remember where I put my keys yesterday?

* * *

In a bike store:
Customer: “Can you show me your finest helmet? I’ve already spent $200,000 on my head, so I don’t want to take any risks.”
Clerk, sympathetically: “You had a head trauma?”
Customer: “No, I went to college.”

* * *

A topologist walks into a cafe:
— Can I have a doughnut of coffee, please.



  1. Xamuel:

    Q: Why are Asians (especially Chinese and Japanese) better at real analysis?
    A: They have an uncountable number of characters to use as variable names.

  2. Olga:

    Was it supposed to be “A topologist” and not “I topologist”, or is there a special I-topogy theory?
    I love this joke!!!

  3. Tanya Khovanova:


    Yes, you are right. I fixed the typo.

Leave a comment