Scam Jokes
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Business plan:
- Sign-up for a premium-rate telephone number through which you make money from every call.
- Take a loan at the bank.
- Do not pay back.
- Collection agencies start calling non-stop.
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- TMake a full-body selfie.
- Eat greedily for a year.
- Take a full-body selfie again.
- Swap before and after.
- Post.
- Collect the likes.
- Give diet advice.
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A cafe patron ordered a pastry, then changed his mind and replaced it with a cup of coffee. When he finished his coffee, he started leaving without paying. The waiter approached him:
—You didn’t pay for coffee!
—But I had it instead of the pastry.
—You didn’t pay for the pastry either!
—But I didn’t have the pastry.
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At a farmers market stand there is a sign: 1 melon—3 dollars, 3 melons—10 dollars. A client requests one melon and pays 3 dollars, then repeats the procedure two more times. Then he says: “I bought three melons for 9 dollars, while you are trying to sell them for 10 dollars. This is really stupid.” The farmer talks to himself: This happens all the time: they buy three melons instead of one, and try to teach me how to make money.
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If the government listens in on my phone conversations, should they be paying half of my phone bill?
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The biggest lie of the century, “I have read and agree to the terms of …”
* * * (submitted by Sam Steingold)
Ignorance: If your poker opponent got lucky cards four times in a row, he must get lousy cards now.
Knowledge: Nope, the deals are independent; prior observations have no bearing on the next deal.
Wisdom: The opponent is cheating; get away from the table now!
Joseph:
Tanya,
thank you for these jokes. It was true and pure delight to read them.
The joke about the cafe patron I heard from my grandfather in 60-es (in other edition).
Joseph.
5 March 2018, 4:46 am