Comments on: Physics Jokes http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199 Mathematics, applications of mathematics to life in general, and my life as a mathematician Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:32:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3 By: kagni http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-43471 kagni Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:50:12 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-43471 A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.". The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced". The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again." A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side
of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.
After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Physicist: “The measurement wasn’t accurate.”.
The Biologists conclusion: “They have reproduced”.
The Mathematician: “If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be
empty again.”

]]> By: Marco Tocornal http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-24816 Marco Tocornal Mon, 11 Jan 2010 14:31:58 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-24816 What's a complex kid? One with a real mother and an imaginary father. How does a linguist compute "5!"? FIIIIIIIVE! Why don't mathematicians and computer programmers distinguish Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 (oct) = 25 (dec). One day 1 meets e^(i*pi) and fall in love with her. One day, he, full of courage says: -Hey, I think we should add up, we'll both gain a lot in life. And e^(i*pi) answers: -Not really, actually we'll get nothing. (the last one is not so good... that's because I've invented it) What’s a complex kid?
One with a real mother and an imaginary father.

How does a linguist compute “5!”?
FIIIIIIIVE!

Why don’t mathematicians and computer programmers distinguish Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 (oct) = 25 (dec).

One day 1 meets e^(i*pi) and fall in love with her. One day, he, full of courage says:
-Hey, I think we should add up, we’ll both gain a lot in life.
And e^(i*pi) answers:
-Not really, actually we’ll get nothing.

(the last one is not so good… that’s because I’ve invented it)

]]> By: David Wilson http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-24493 David Wilson Wed, 06 Jan 2010 23:48:02 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-24493 http://xkcd.com/679/ http://xkcd.com/679/

]]> By: Hillary http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23745 Hillary Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:37:21 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23745 GROAN!!! love em. :) GROAN!!! love em. :)

]]> By: Gommle http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23672 Gommle Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:59:19 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23672 A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, the priest says "We don't allow Higgs-Bosons in here.". The Higgs-Boson says "But without me how can you have mass?" A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, the priest says “We don’t allow Higgs-Bosons in here.”. The Higgs-Boson says “But without me how can you have mass?”

]]> By: David Wilson http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23652 David Wilson Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:03:27 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23652 I like math jokes better. A doctor, lawyer and mathematician were discussing the merits of wives vs mistresses. "Go with a wife" says the doctor. "Long term relationships are healthier." "Go with a mistress" says the lawyer. "It costs less to break up." "Go with both" says the mathematician. "Then when the wife thinks you are with the mistress and the mistress thinks you are with the wife, you can get some mathematics done." I like math jokes better.

A doctor, lawyer and mathematician were discussing the merits of wives vs mistresses.

“Go with a wife” says the doctor. “Long term relationships are healthier.”

“Go with a mistress” says the lawyer. “It costs less to break up.”

“Go with both” says the mathematician. “Then when the wife thinks you are with the mistress and the mistress thinks you are with the wife, you can get some mathematics done.”

]]> By: Jonathan http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23562 Jonathan Fri, 25 Dec 2009 15:44:13 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23562 Some particles, thoroughly sloshed, are ready to leave the tavern. Neutron: "What do I owe you?" Bartender: "For you, no charge" Some particles, thoroughly sloshed, are ready to leave the tavern.

Neutron: “What do I owe you?”
Bartender: “For you, no charge”

]]> By: Tanya Khovanova's Math Blog » Blog Archive » Physics Jokes : Quality jokes collection http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23521 Tanya Khovanova's Math Blog » Blog Archive » Physics Jokes : Quality jokes collection Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:21:25 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23521 [...] Continued here:  Tanya Khovanova's Math Blog » Blog Archive » Physics Jokes [...] […] Continued here:  Tanya Khovanova's Math Blog » Blog Archive » Physics Jokes […]

]]> By: Felipe Pait http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23499 Felipe Pait Thu, 24 Dec 2009 21:58:17 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23499 Not sure about von Neumann but the Heisenberg one sounds authentic :-) Not sure about von Neumann but the Heisenberg one sounds authentic :-)

]]> By: vadim http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23498 vadim Thu, 24 Dec 2009 21:42:40 +0000 http://blog.tanyakhovanova.com/?p=199#comment-23498 I've heard that von Neumann really told the police that he saw red light as being green because of the wave-length-whatever-effect, because he was driving fast enough towards the lights. I’ve heard that von Neumann really told the police that he saw red light as being green because of the wave-length-whatever-effect, because he was driving fast enough towards the lights.

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